It’s three o’clock in the afternoon. I had a half-baked plan to run a couple errands after I got off work at two’, but Jeweliet and Dorothy needed the car to do grocery shopping and I was in no hurry to impede them. For one thing, I myself am rather fond of groceries. For another, I adore canceled plans.
We had just enough coffee beans for an afternoon pot. I added a little heavy whipping cream to mine, day three of no sugar. I’m kind of proud. I thought it would be a tough adjustment, but it tastes great this way. The only problem is, I end up eating cookies or something because I’m still craving the sugar. Coffee used to make me feel full, even with a small scoop of coconut sugar.
The temperatures have dropped considerably the past couple of days. The humidity has blown away, the sun is shining but not the with the vengeance of early September. There’s a clean-smelling breeze thumbing through the post oaks. One of my very favorite things about Autumn in Central Texas is the blackbirds. The sound of crows cawing in the pasture sends me into a nostalgic reverie. Grackles (tragically under-appreciated creatures) begin to congregate at intersections and perform incomparable ballets for those jammed in school-time traffic or behind a train.
What is it about the change in seasons that makes me so sentimental? It happens four times a year. It isn’t as if I haven’t experienced Autumn since childhood, and yet the change itself immediately brings me years into my past. The weather and sights and sounds that go with it may give me a fleck of a memory from last year, but it brings a tidal wave of reminiscence to “old times.” Day by day, everything seems the same until suddenly, it all seems to change at once, like you’ve come to the end of an escalator and tripped off. I think that’s why sudden seasonal changes make me look so far back, I abruptly remember that time is indeed passing and that nothing lasts forever. Crows remind me of one childhood home, grackles of another. The breeze takes me back to teenage afternoons in “the meadow,” being schoolmarm to my newfound siblings. The golden sunlight does something altogether etherial to my heart, as if I’m remembering something that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s bewitching.
You might have noticed I’ve been very quiet here lately. I have written some in my newsletter (sign up! its fun) but nowhere else. I tried to keep up with writing for Kindred Grace and never got it together. I either had too many thoughts or not enough. Mostly, my heart was preoccupied and my hands were busy and I just haven’t been writing at all. I wish I could say I’ve been keeping a private journal (as every respectable writer recommends) but that has been most neglected of all. As Summer boiled over and gave way to Fall, I had some good conversations and drove back and forth to the baby boutique where I work many times. I baked some bread that wasn’t very tasty, took a tromp through our creek. I took lots of pictures with my phone (no longer in opposition to smart phones, the camera is just too fun) and started planning a new book project (TBA.) I teared up when I was disappointed in myself, when my hopes came to no fruition, when a friend lost a parent way, way too soon. I laughed much more. I kissed Simeon’s head 4,673 times. It was a good end to the Summer.
When I’m busy and preoccupied and the things on my mind aren’t things I can write about publicly, I tend to just take a little break from sharing. I tend to get a little addicted to feedback (not necessarily affirmation, just acknowledgement) and so I spent a week without hitting “share” on social media. I have stopped reading about politics almost entirely, sure there’s nothing unifying or encouraging happening in that realm. (As a side note, I always thought it would be exciting to live in a swing state, but now I’m thankful to be without the pressure…ha!)
Anyway, I guess I came here to say that with this fresh wind rushing in, I feel somewhat of a fresh wind in my writing sails. I know what I’m going to write about for Kindred Grace next, I have a new writing project underway that’s making me daydream and—behold! I just blogged.
(Would love to know what you’re up to! Doesn’t have to be thrilling. This isn’t a formal event, just share what’s on your mind.)